many advised me not to go for the SP band concert, and actually i also dont intend to go, but in the end i still went, dunno why, maybe i still cant forget. If not because my classmate is also going, i wont go de. So wad if i saw u? or u saw me? u wont think i exist anymore ba... u'll just ignore me... although u said u wont ignore again? wad rubbish? so i should just go and leave. haiz. although it is a nice concert, but that's not wad is really nice to me. It has been so long le.. u really really want me to disappear from your life, if that would make u happier, maybe i should
我的话语是多余.
想像的未来不会到来
继续逞强也显得幼稚.
不应该再等不会到来的简讯
不想放弃是执迷不悟,
说想开只是安慰
也许放弃是最好的办法吧..
不让空虚在我的天空盘旋..
因为故事总要有尾声,
即使是默剧,也有安静的结束坑总
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
SEEN THE PRINCIPAL THE VERY FIRST THING TODAY MORNING.
when the principal saw me, she was like "oh, jieying, u again ah." this shows that i've seen her so often that even she recognised me.
She didnt forced me to retain or anything, but she explained to me and my father that i could be wasting my time in jc if i cant make it for A levels at the end of this year. i could end up with nothing, not even with an A lvl cert if i fail.
ONLY 3 MONTHS LEFT.
I really feel very very very very confused. if i continue, I doubt i can do well for all my subjects, especially CHINESE. And if i fail, i have no where to go. i end up with NOTHING.
IF i retain, i'll be all alone in another class, with people all i dunno and i'll feel left out. And if thinking i have more time , i'll just slack again and continue lazying around.
my GOAL is to get in yong siew toh conservatory if possible. However, one needs a full A lvl cert to get in cuz it's part of NUS and go for their audition which is held in january and march. In addition, they only take in abt 5-10 people who plays piano every year, which means only the really good ones can get in. So, it doesnt mean that if i pass A lvl i can 100% go in. wad if i don get in? do i have a back up plan? and if i only pass A lvls, i cant get into other faculties in NUS. still, i end up with NOTHING.
sigh. nothing can describe wad i feel now. extremely ultimately confused. =/
seems like my father and uncle jeff think that retain is a better choice for me but my friends advised me to move on. 3 months, is it enough?
so many different opinions, now i feel even more confused.
WADS MORE, i have to make a decision BY TOMORROW. It's already 11 .30pm and i still cant make up my mind.
SIGH
when the principal saw me, she was like "oh, jieying, u again ah." this shows that i've seen her so often that even she recognised me.
She didnt forced me to retain or anything, but she explained to me and my father that i could be wasting my time in jc if i cant make it for A levels at the end of this year. i could end up with nothing, not even with an A lvl cert if i fail.
ONLY 3 MONTHS LEFT.
I really feel very very very very confused. if i continue, I doubt i can do well for all my subjects, especially CHINESE. And if i fail, i have no where to go. i end up with NOTHING.
IF i retain, i'll be all alone in another class, with people all i dunno and i'll feel left out. And if thinking i have more time , i'll just slack again and continue lazying around.
my GOAL is to get in yong siew toh conservatory if possible. However, one needs a full A lvl cert to get in cuz it's part of NUS and go for their audition which is held in january and march. In addition, they only take in abt 5-10 people who plays piano every year, which means only the really good ones can get in. So, it doesnt mean that if i pass A lvl i can 100% go in. wad if i don get in? do i have a back up plan? and if i only pass A lvls, i cant get into other faculties in NUS. still, i end up with NOTHING.
sigh. nothing can describe wad i feel now. extremely ultimately confused. =/
seems like my father and uncle jeff think that retain is a better choice for me but my friends advised me to move on. 3 months, is it enough?
so many different opinions, now i feel even more confused.
WADS MORE, i have to make a decision BY TOMORROW. It's already 11 .30pm and i still cant make up my mind.
SIGH
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
RANDOM :
maple in real life (X
aren't these ribbon pigs adorable?
lol... how creative
on the package:
ENORMEX
(for superman and big boys)
safe! this condom has been thoroughly tested on an Africa Bull Elephant then rigorously rinsed and sterilized before packed for sale.
o_O this strange insect appeared at my blk
14th july was college day. So yeah, as u all know, I performed 2 solo pieces( Chopin Waltz Op 18 & ppl who fight from FF7) during the interlude and played some pieces before the whole thing starts to entertain the audience.
After the whole thing ends, wad upset me a bit was that Mr Tham was the one distributing packet drinks and he saw me, then gave me that look and said " OO YOU ARE USEFUL FOR ONCE ! "
for once? oh does that mean that i've been useless all the while? lol
After that performance, i felt like im famous. HAHA. that feeling is so good. Everyone was like looking at me after that wherever i go la. =.=. when i was walking to cck mrt station, suddenly someone from o6S17 which i dunno approached me and told me i played well. lol. It seems like everywhere i go i receive praises. wheee~~~ i felt a sense of achievement.
Today... WAS SUPER SUAY LA. I WAS LIKE LATE FOR SCH FOR 1 SEC. Everyone was running to sch la cuz the gate was going to close and then i heard a voice "THOSE 4 PPL STOP THERE!!!!" How am i suppose to know who are those 4? that 2pid cameron yaw let all the others go and PULLED ME OUT. HE GRABBED ME SO "VIOLENTLY" that my bag almost dropped. $@%*(@$*)$. SOMEMORE HE CONFISCATED ALL OUR EZ-LINKS. We can only get our cards from him at 6pm. SUAY SUAY SUAY.
Today went with karissa n siew ting n jeremy to the new christian fellowship organised by our own pioneers. feel that i've been drifting away from God,maybe it's time i should go for the fellowship and seek to him XD
maple in real life (X
aren't these ribbon pigs adorable?
lol... how creative
on the package:
ENORMEX
(for superman and big boys)
safe! this condom has been thoroughly tested on an Africa Bull Elephant then rigorously rinsed and sterilized before packed for sale.
o_O this strange insect appeared at my blk
14th july was college day. So yeah, as u all know, I performed 2 solo pieces( Chopin Waltz Op 18 & ppl who fight from FF7) during the interlude and played some pieces before the whole thing starts to entertain the audience.
After the whole thing ends, wad upset me a bit was that Mr Tham was the one distributing packet drinks and he saw me, then gave me that look and said " OO YOU ARE USEFUL FOR ONCE ! "
for once? oh does that mean that i've been useless all the while? lol
After that performance, i felt like im famous. HAHA. that feeling is so good. Everyone was like looking at me after that wherever i go la. =.=. when i was walking to cck mrt station, suddenly someone from o6S17 which i dunno approached me and told me i played well. lol. It seems like everywhere i go i receive praises. wheee~~~ i felt a sense of achievement.
Today... WAS SUPER SUAY LA. I WAS LIKE LATE FOR SCH FOR 1 SEC. Everyone was running to sch la cuz the gate was going to close and then i heard a voice "THOSE 4 PPL STOP THERE!!!!" How am i suppose to know who are those 4? that 2pid cameron yaw let all the others go and PULLED ME OUT. HE GRABBED ME SO "VIOLENTLY" that my bag almost dropped. $@%*(@$*)$. SOMEMORE HE CONFISCATED ALL OUR EZ-LINKS. We can only get our cards from him at 6pm. SUAY SUAY SUAY.
Today went with karissa n siew ting n jeremy to the new christian fellowship organised by our own pioneers. feel that i've been drifting away from God,maybe it's time i should go for the fellowship and seek to him XD
14th july was college day. So yeah, as u all know, I performed 2 solo pieces( Chopin Waltz Op 18 & ppl who fight from FF7) during the interlude and played some pieces before the whole thing starts to entertain the audience.
After the whole thing ends, wad upset me a bit was that Mr Tham was the one distributing packet drinks and he saw me, then gave me that look and said " OO YOU ARE USEFUL FOR ONCE ! "
for once? oh does that mean that i've useless all the while? lol
After that performance, i felt like im famous. HAHA. that feeling is so good. Everyone was like looking at me after that wherever i go la. =.=. when i was walking to cck mrt station, suddenly someone from S17 which i dunno approached me and told me i played well. lol. It seems like everywhere i go i receive praises. wheee~~~ i felt a sense of achievement.
Today... WAS SUPER SUAY LA. I WAS LIKE LATE FOR 1 SEC. Everyone was running to sch la cuz the gate was going to close and then i heard a voice "THOSE 4 PPL STOP THERE!!!!" How am i suppose to know who are those 4? that 2pid cameron yaw let all the others go and PULLED ME OUT. HE GRABBED ME SO "VIOLENTLY" that my bag almost dropped. $@%*(@$*)$. SOMEMORE HE CONFISCATED ALL OUR EZ-LINKS. We can only get our cards from him at 6pm. SUAY SUAY SUAY.
Today went with karissa n siew ting n jeremy to the new christian fellowship organised by our own pioneers. feel that i've been drifting away from God, so now i should go for the fellowship and seek to him XD
After the whole thing ends, wad upset me a bit was that Mr Tham was the one distributing packet drinks and he saw me, then gave me that look and said " OO YOU ARE USEFUL FOR ONCE ! "
for once? oh does that mean that i've useless all the while? lol
After that performance, i felt like im famous. HAHA. that feeling is so good. Everyone was like looking at me after that wherever i go la. =.=. when i was walking to cck mrt station, suddenly someone from S17 which i dunno approached me and told me i played well. lol. It seems like everywhere i go i receive praises. wheee~~~ i felt a sense of achievement.
Today... WAS SUPER SUAY LA. I WAS LIKE LATE FOR 1 SEC. Everyone was running to sch la cuz the gate was going to close and then i heard a voice "THOSE 4 PPL STOP THERE!!!!" How am i suppose to know who are those 4? that 2pid cameron yaw let all the others go and PULLED ME OUT. HE GRABBED ME SO "VIOLENTLY" that my bag almost dropped. $@%*(@$*)$. SOMEMORE HE CONFISCATED ALL OUR EZ-LINKS. We can only get our cards from him at 6pm. SUAY SUAY SUAY.
Today went with karissa n siew ting n jeremy to the new christian fellowship organised by our own pioneers. feel that i've been drifting away from God, so now i should go for the fellowship and seek to him XD
Thursday, July 12, 2007
UUUUS
CAN I SAY QUIT SCHOOL NOW ?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just got back my chinese papers today, and i cried like mad. i cant take it. i feel so hurt. It's not like i never try. i did try. Even it's U grade again, y must it be such a pathetic U ? and somemore i thought my chinese at least still got a bit of hope, but apparently NO. It is my greatest disappointment in fact. Somemore my U grade is such a pathetic U grade. My language paper. 12/65. HAHA REALLY A JOKE MAN. 12 ?! i might as well tear the paper and burn it. Compo. 28/70. Might as well use the paper to wipe ur butt la. chi lit. EVEN WORSE. 20.5/100. Use the paper as incense paper even better la.
WHY IS MY CHINESE EVEN WORSE THAN MY OTHER SUBJECTS? I REALLY DON UNDERSTAND.
i simply feel so ~@$@%## now. wad do i keep getting this kind of grades? MY common test : UUUUU. NOW UUUUS which doesnt make any difference.
i really feel so discouraged and depressed. This isn't the first time i getting this kind of grades, this is already the 3rd time. why is it happening time and again
I SIMPLY FEEL THAT I SHOULD GIVE EVERYTHING UP
CAN I SAY QUIT SCHOOL NOW ?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just got back my chinese papers today, and i cried like mad. i cant take it. i feel so hurt. It's not like i never try. i did try. Even it's U grade again, y must it be such a pathetic U ? and somemore i thought my chinese at least still got a bit of hope, but apparently NO. It is my greatest disappointment in fact. Somemore my U grade is such a pathetic U grade. My language paper. 12/65. HAHA REALLY A JOKE MAN. 12 ?! i might as well tear the paper and burn it. Compo. 28/70. Might as well use the paper to wipe ur butt la. chi lit. EVEN WORSE. 20.5/100. Use the paper as incense paper even better la.
WHY IS MY CHINESE EVEN WORSE THAN MY OTHER SUBJECTS? I REALLY DON UNDERSTAND.
i simply feel so ~@$@%## now. wad do i keep getting this kind of grades? MY common test : UUUUU. NOW UUUUS which doesnt make any difference.
i really feel so discouraged and depressed. This isn't the first time i getting this kind of grades, this is already the 3rd time. why is it happening time and again
I SIMPLY FEEL THAT I SHOULD GIVE EVERYTHING UP
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I feel so discouraged. feel so hopeless. feel so 绝望. I JUST FEEL LIKE SCREAMING !!!!!! I WISHED I CAN JUST GIVE UP A LEVELS. Is it that i am not capable enough to do A levels? why do i keep getting UUUUUUUUU???!!! keep failing all the time. I fail until numb le
Once again my Mid year results is shit. I failed like almost everything AGAIN. It's not like i never put in any effort. I studied. I tried. I wonder what will happen to me this time, after seeing the principal( already the 3rd time im drinking coffee with her). Sigh. I don even know if i have the chance to work even harder for my prelims or not. I don even know if i have the chance to stay in PJC.I will ONLY know what will happen after 28 July(meet the parents). I simply have no mood to study..
Im already feeling so negative cuz of that person, although i know that person doesn't give damn about me at all. If my results weren't so bad, i wont be feeling so miserable now. At least if i pass it will give me a sense of achievement but NO, i didnt even manage to pass even 1 subject. Can u believe that my BEST grade is only a sub-pass ?!
well, im performing piano on college day(14 july). Im playing la campanella i guess and another piece(not confirm yet), and Im playing for the principal tmr. scary. =x Im always there to watch that person's performance, of cuz i wished that that person is also there to see me perform, but guess not....................sigh.
U told me u wont ignore me AGAIN. But now, aren't u ignoring me again? sigh.
today went out with PKY and ZM after sch. play arcade to release stress=)
Once again my Mid year results is shit. I failed like almost everything AGAIN. It's not like i never put in any effort. I studied. I tried. I wonder what will happen to me this time, after seeing the principal( already the 3rd time im drinking coffee with her). Sigh. I don even know if i have the chance to work even harder for my prelims or not. I don even know if i have the chance to stay in PJC.I will ONLY know what will happen after 28 July(meet the parents). I simply have no mood to study..
Im already feeling so negative cuz of that person, although i know that person doesn't give damn about me at all. If my results weren't so bad, i wont be feeling so miserable now. At least if i pass it will give me a sense of achievement but NO, i didnt even manage to pass even 1 subject. Can u believe that my BEST grade is only a sub-pass ?!
well, im performing piano on college day(14 july). Im playing la campanella i guess and another piece(not confirm yet), and Im playing for the principal tmr. scary. =x Im always there to watch that person's performance, of cuz i wished that that person is also there to see me perform, but guess not....................sigh.
U told me u wont ignore me AGAIN. But now, aren't u ignoring me again? sigh.
today went out with PKY and ZM after sch. play arcade to release stress=)
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
THE WORLD DOESNT LIKE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
KANASAI.
why this kinda bad things always happen TO ME? I don understand WHY that person is treating me like this? like when You wish that person happy birthday and that person didnt even thank u and instead replied with 3 dots. How WOULD you feel ah ???????????????? If nv reply still nvm, DOT ME for wad
And since i didnt msg u and u also don seem to bother at all, perhaps it means that i am insignificant and like a piece of shit to u ba? OK NVM. u don sms me, I SMS U LOR. EVEN I SMS U TELLING U I FEEL SAD CUZ OF U, U JUS TELL ME U WAN TO SLEEP AND CLOSE SESAME LIAO. YOU ROCK MY SOCKS MAN !
I keep telling myself "u are not that bad u are not that bad" but now i really think U ARE BAD, cuz u don care abt other ppl's feelings, ESPECIALLY ME. YES, u denied that i am a piece of shit to u but u're treating me the SHITTY WAY so that makes me a piece of shit. IF U REALLY THINK I AM SHIT, THEN TELL ME LA, SO I KNOW WAD. IF U DON TELL ME, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW I AM SHIT TO U? If i am not shit to u, then why are treating me the shitty way? don u have past experiences before? don u noe IT HURTS?
LOL. IS THIS CALL KARMA? U are treating me like how the ppl in the past are doing to u. i am your fa xie tong?
SERIOUSLY, THINGS CANT GO ON IN THIS MANNER.
TELL U SOMETHING... I AM GIVING UP !!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN I CANT I AM FORCING MYSELF !!!!!!!!!!
aiya so wad? maybe it wont even affect u la.. u wont bother one.. give up give up lor.. nothing big. i 4ever don contact u, u oso nothing one
right? if im right i guess i've definitely made the right choice
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway,
I got back my chem paper today. Mdm Goh said alot of ppl failed but she said i improved ! yay
I got a grade which is between U and S. So it's a T? haha =P
KANASAI.
why this kinda bad things always happen TO ME? I don understand WHY that person is treating me like this? like when You wish that person happy birthday and that person didnt even thank u and instead replied with 3 dots. How WOULD you feel ah ???????????????? If nv reply still nvm, DOT ME for wad
And since i didnt msg u and u also don seem to bother at all, perhaps it means that i am insignificant and like a piece of shit to u ba? OK NVM. u don sms me, I SMS U LOR. EVEN I SMS U TELLING U I FEEL SAD CUZ OF U, U JUS TELL ME U WAN TO SLEEP AND CLOSE SESAME LIAO. YOU ROCK MY SOCKS MAN !
I keep telling myself "u are not that bad u are not that bad" but now i really think U ARE BAD, cuz u don care abt other ppl's feelings, ESPECIALLY ME. YES, u denied that i am a piece of shit to u but u're treating me the SHITTY WAY so that makes me a piece of shit. IF U REALLY THINK I AM SHIT, THEN TELL ME LA, SO I KNOW WAD. IF U DON TELL ME, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW I AM SHIT TO U? If i am not shit to u, then why are treating me the shitty way? don u have past experiences before? don u noe IT HURTS?
LOL. IS THIS CALL KARMA? U are treating me like how the ppl in the past are doing to u. i am your fa xie tong?
SERIOUSLY, THINGS CANT GO ON IN THIS MANNER.
TELL U SOMETHING... I AM GIVING UP !!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN I CANT I AM FORCING MYSELF !!!!!!!!!!
aiya so wad? maybe it wont even affect u la.. u wont bother one.. give up give up lor.. nothing big. i 4ever don contact u, u oso nothing one
right? if im right i guess i've definitely made the right choice
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway,
I got back my chem paper today. Mdm Goh said alot of ppl failed but she said i improved ! yay
I got a grade which is between U and S. So it's a T? haha =P
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